


If I lost you...

by kjavdekar



Category: The Flash (TV 2014), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Falling In Love, Love, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 01:23:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6590971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjavdekar/pseuds/kjavdekar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Iris comes to terms with her love for Barry</p>
            </blockquote>





	If I lost you...

****

Barry stumbled through the door clinging to his ribs gasping out for air. He somehow managed to limp up the stairs letting out painful moans. He thought he was ready this time, he thought he could defeat Zoom by himself, but boy was he wrong. Barry shifted all of his weight onto the banister as he proceeded to climb to his bedroom which now seemed as high as Mt. Everest. How could he have been so stupid to go after Zoom? What was he thinking? Zoom could have easily killed him tonight. He tried not to think about the damage Zoom had inflicted on his body; a few broken ribs, a torn ACL, bruised muscles and a fat lip was getting off easy and it took everything he had not to yelp out in pain. He bit his lip as he dragged his body onto the bed with what remaining strength he had left. Relieved to find Iris unharmed by his side he drifted.

 

 Iris woke to the sound of Barry’s whimper (the fight playing over and over in his head) calling her name, only to see her eyes well with tears at the sight of his body.

 

“Baby? Baby…” she called again as she rubbed his chest trying to wake him, but he didn’t budge.

 

 Iris placed her hand over Barry’s heart trying not to sob so loud she would wake Joe

 

 Barry’s eyes blinked open to see Iris’s face drowning in tears

 

“Iris, is everything okay?” he questioned trying to prop himself onto his elbows only to collapse seconds later in pain

 

But she remained silent and sobbing, unable to find the words

 

Barry mustered up all his strength and sat up letting out a weary grunt.

 

“Iris baby, shhh, its okay. He whispered rubbing her thigh. Why are you crying?” forgetting for a moment that he was broken and bruised

 

“Who? How? What happened?” she finally got out in between sobs as her hands traced his aching body stopping his bruised pelvis

 

His throat grew dry as he bit his lip not knowing where to begin. He wanted to tell her but he knew she would just cry more, and he didn’t want to start fighting.

 

“I…uhh sort of went after Zoom last night.”

 

“You did what now?” she asked in shock

 

“I went after Zoom.”

 

“By yourself?”

 

He nodded in silence, knowing full aware what was ahead

 

“How could you…? Why would you...?” she screamed, infuriated

 

Barry sat in silence for what felt like hours before taking her hand.

 

Iris pulled her hand away and crossed her arms completely furious. She sat in dead silence trying to form the words to portray her anger, but nothing came out. Not anger, nor fury nor rage, just tears and pain.

 

“Iris I know you are upset with me but please tell me what you are thinking. Please yell at me, or cry or do something.”

 

“I…uh….I can’t be here right now Bear, I’m sorry.” and she got up and stormed out of the room.

 

Barry wanted so much to go after her but one he wasn’t in any state to run and two he knew she was upset and figured he would give her some time with her thoughts.

 

Iris grabbed her coat and boots as she walked out the door facing the thin air of CC. She put her hands in her pockets and set out to be alone. Millions of thoughts raced through her head as she walked away, away from the pain, away from her home, and away from Barry. Words couldn’t describe what she felt. The sadness swept over her, plunging her into a state of rage. What could Barry possibly be thinking? Did he expect her to lose someone else she loved? Did he think that she would survive for even a minute without him? How could he think she would be okay? Tears stung her eyes as the thin air cut her face and shortened her breath. She walked for what seemed like hours yet somehow ended up back in front of her house. She wiped her tears, put her anger in check and pushed the door open once again.

 

Iris walked up the stairs, her feet dragging behind her, dreading the idea of having to see Barry hurt. But she tried to fight the tears…

 

“Iris!” Barry jumped

 

“Hey Bear.”

 

“Iris my love please let me explain why I did it.”

 

She nodded waiting to hear his explanation

 

“Zoom threatened you, Iris. He threatened to take you away from me, to hurt you and said he would make sure I never found you. I lost it. I didn’t think about the consequences, or how badly I could get hurt, or even that I’d die. The thought of him ever laying a hand on you was more than I could take, and I’m so sorry that I lied to you last night but I just needed to do something, anything I could to make sure you stayed safe.”

 

Iris waited to see if he would continue and when he didn't she took off her coat and fell into his arms.

 

Barry wrapped her up in his embrace as she began to sob, he could feel her anger melting away but her crying grow louder. Iris looked into his eyes as her fingertips traced his face and down his chest, lingering on the deep blue and purple bruises that were left on his perfect skin.

 

“I see she began slowly. Barry I…I’m not angry with you. I was at first but I understand why you did it. You wanted to keep me safe. Ever since I've known you, you've always run to protect me and I love that about you but…”

 

He smiled a little relieved

 

“But I need you to understand something...”

 

He nodded

 

“When I woke up and saw you lying next to me in less than perfect condition, it was a wake-up call. I’d never seen you like this. Broken and hurt. Never heard you yell out in pain or scream for me in the middle of the night.”

 

“I’m okay Iris I promise.” he attempted to reassure but failed miserably as he collapsed

 

“Okay?” Iris scoffed

 

“You call black and blue bruises on your abdomen and 6 broken ribs okay?” she screamed, infuriated yet sympathetic as she traced his bruises gently

 

“Not to mention your beautiful busted lower lip. How could someone be so cruel to such a beautiful face she cried as she gently ran her thumb across it. What if you would have died tonight? What if we never got to be married, or had kids…or” she shuddered in horror

 

Barry placed his hands on either side of Iris’s face as he pulled her up to him for a kiss that seemed to melt her for a few seconds

 

“You’re right love. I know.” he cooed apologetically

 

“No Bear you don’t.” she assured pulling away trying to regain control of her tears

 

“You think being reckless and acting like a hero all the time is the best thing. Well let me tell you something Barry Allen, it’s not. Not even for a second. You have Cisco and Caitlin to help you for a reason. You want to show off and go defeat Zoom all by yourself? Then do it, just don’t me fall in love with you first.”

 

He fought back a smile trying his best to ignore the fact that Iris had just told him she was in love with him and mentioned marriage and kids “But Iris…I”

 

“…I’m not finished”

 

He apologized and let her continue

 

“Ever since I lost Eddie I guarded my heart. Guarded it from loving someone as much as I loved Eddie. I didn’t want to feel the pain of losing someone ever again. But then you came along and my walls came down. I saw you in a different light, as so much more than my best friend. I fell in love with you Barry. Completely and hopelessly in love and it scares me to think that I could lose you at any minute.” She tried to stay angry but he was softening her with his delicate touch…

 

Iris was now a complete mess, she fought back the tears that had gotten so bad she couldn’t breathe, and the thought of losing him was killing her

 

“How could you think even for a second that I could live without you? Did you think about that when you went after Zoom? No you didn’t because you care for me so much that you don’t care what happens to yourself. But I do Barry Allen. You are mine, all of you, for the rest of our lives and I don’t want you coming home to me with broken parts.”

 

“Okay baby.” he reassured pulling her towards him

 

Iris briefly pushed away, “Promise me. Promise me that this was the last time?”

 

Barry took a step back to examine her words. “You want me to give up being _The Flash_?” he asked

 

“Would you? For me?” she asked looking up into his eyes with hope

 

He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “You are the reason this heart beats Iris, you have always been the reason and if it comes between losing you and being _The Flash_ , you will win every single time. I can live without my speed, but I can’t live with you.”

 

Iris assessed his eyes pausing to tilt up his chin to her…“I can’t see you like this Bear and I can't imagine waking up every morning without you next to me. You’re my whole world Barry and the thought of losing you is more than I can take.” she sobbed as she crumbled into him “it’s because of this that I can’t be selfish with you. As much as it kills me to see you like this, it would hurt me more to know I was the reason you couldn’t save people.”

 

“So you don’t want me to stop being _The Flash_?” Furrowing his brow utterly confused

 

“No baby I don’t. It is part of the reason I love you so much and I can’t ask you to give that up. Just promise me the next time Zoom or any other meta-human threatens to take me you won’t go taking matters into your own hands. That you will ask for help and not go offer yourself to a psychopath just to protect me.”

 

Barry didn’t want to make promises he knew he could not keep, Because it didn't matter to him if he died or lived as long Iris was safe but he didn’t want to argue and his lips had been away from hers for far too long.

 

Barry took her face in his hands, “I promise love.” dissolving them both in a kiss.

 


End file.
